On the Way Home and Off the Beaten Path
by DrWorm and Psycho B
Summary: What do you think when you get into a car that smells like "Sweet Pea" lotion? Lance/Pietro SLASH, of course!


A/N:

            Lance = DrWorm.  Pietro = Psycho B.  Enjoy the pointless porn.  _…I said enjoy it!  Oh, and lala, I finally figured out why you make a better Lance than I do… __you can drive a stick, can't you?  ._

            Disclaimer:  I was gonna claim that I owned X-Men: Evolution here, but who'd believe me, anyway?  Huh?  Who?

**On the Way Home and Off the Beaten Path**

By:  DrWorm & Psychodelic Barfly

            Pietro slid between the wheel and his lover, wrapping himself tightly around Lance's startled form and sliding his tongue between Lance's slack, surprised lips.  "C'mon, Lance, I bet you can do it before it turns green." 

            "Uhh..." Lance looked over Pietro's head at the stoplight. "But... there are people behind us!" He whimpered as Pietro gyrated his hips slowly.  

            "Fuck 'em," Pietro demanded, grinding himself wantonly. "I want you right now, Lance."  Pietro grabbed for his fly, unbuttoning and unzipping with practiced ease.  In the reflection of the windshield of the car stopped behind them, he saw the light turn.  Groaning, Pietro collapsed bonelessly against Lance.  "Let's go somewhere, I need you right now." 

            Lance gulped as Pietro slipped down beside him, giving the other boy the necessitated amount of room to drive. "'Kay," Lance squeaked, pushing his foot down onto the gas pedal and jerking slightly as the Jeep surged forward through the intersection. "Um... there's a... motel pretty close... if you wanna..." 

            "No, no, just park somewhere," Pietro insisted, leaning over to rest his head in Lance's lap.  A slow, wicked smirk of malice crept over his fair features, and Pietro took hold of the rough fabric, pulling it down enough to expose the rapidly hardening package within.  Pulling Lance's erection out through the conveniently placed hole in the front of his boxers, he eagerly popped the penis into his mouth, fully aware of the desperate swerve of the vehicle. 

            "Yaaah!" Lance gripped the steering wheel with tight knuckles, trying hard to keep them from driving into a ditch. "Okay, okay... cute," he whispered through clenched teeth. "But... no. Time to stop, Pietro." He glanced down, attempting to be stern and caught Pietro's lidded eyes staring up at him as he bobbed up and down. Lance moaned and looked back up quickly. The road they were on was pretty much deserted... a dead end. A quick check of the rearview mirror revealed what he'd suspected... all the people behind them had turned right. They were pretty much alone. 

            "Dun wanna stop," Pietro mumbled from around Lance's swollen prick.  He left the rigid piece of flesh to peer around at the scenery -- they'd stopped.  "Where are we?  Can we fuck here?" he asked quickly, yanking at Lance's pants.  "Oh my God, did you slip me something?" Pietro wondered aloud, stripping his shirt off immediately and perching beside Lance.  "All I've been able to think about is this, all day..."  Insistent lips joined Lance's, tongue pushing back inside. 

            Lance pulled the parking brake with one hand as he pushed the other across the nape of Pietro's neck, pulling him closer. "I didn't slip you a goddamned thing," he whispered, breaking their kiss for a moment. "It's just your natural horniness taking over." 

            "Mm... and it's not even a full moon," Pietro commented between smooches, "but it is getting nice and dark... c'mon, get these damned things off, dammit," he cursed, one hand attached to Lance's erection, the other tugging at his jeans.  "My head is going to explode... no, not that head, not yet, anyway," Pietro remarked dryly, poking Lance in the abdomen for his snickering.  

            "Don't explode too early," Lance smirked. "At least take me with you." Lance's hands went to the button on Pietro's jeans, toyed with it, began helping him to slip out.  

            "Yeah, yeah, you'll go wherever I want you to go, and you know it."  Pietro planted a quick peck on Lance's nose.  "Ohh... you don't have anything in here, do you?  Any stuff?" he asked, distracted away from Lance's lips and rifling through the glovebox.  "Man, I'm gonna be pissed if we have to deal with _these stupid things," Pietro growled in distaste, hand reappearing with a string of connected Trojans. _

            "No, no... keep going," Lance urged Pietro. "Somewhere in the back there should be lotion or something." As Pietro continued to dig in the glove compartment, Lance kept one hand on the small of his back, rubbing in tiny circles, and used to other to switch on the radio. 

            Pietro kept digging, coming up empty-handed.  "Lance, where?" he prodded, eyeing Lance as he fiddled with the stereo, switching stations repeatedly, looking for a goodie.  "You have to be more prepared!" Pietro snapped, tossing a load of paperwork, including the registration and othersuch items, onto the passenger-side floor.  "I don't see it," he worried, looking at Lance.  "If you know where it is, play magic genie really, really quick, please..." 

            "Wait," Lance said, leaning back to the optimistic beat of "We Built This City."  He pulled his backpack to the front seat and began to rummage in the front pocket. "Here we go," he said triumphantly, pulling out a small bottle. "Thought I had some." He met Pietro's questioning eyes. "Uh... It was Kitty's," Lance said, embarrassed. "She kinda... accidentally left it and..." 

            Pietro snickered at the song selection... not so much the small bottle of... "Sweet Pea, Lance?  Seriously..."  Pietro pretended to look offended, hiding the fact that he adored that particular scent, and had a bottle or two or... several himself.  "Whatever, just get it open.  God, I want you so bad... you were all I could think about in school today.  I fell asleep in Hickman's class and was moaning in my sleep... and the dream I had was worth the humiliation." 

            It was Lance's turn to laugh. "Well, I'll bet she was thrilled about that." He popped open the top of the tiny squeeze bottle and pushed a small amount into his palm. "Why don't..." Lance lowered his voice to a husky whisper as he pulled Pietro closer to him. "Why don't you go ahead and tell me about that dream," he hissed as he slid slick fingertips between his lover's legs. 

            "Ohhhh.. oh... it was something like... this," Pietro gasped as a curious finger penetrated him.  "But we were royalty, in some ancient city, maybe--" Another gasp as Lance's other hand grabbed his cheek firmly, rubbing the burgeoning erection into his, "Maybe Rome... I don't fucking know, Lance, damn you, just do me!" he hissed. "I want you inside me now, pleeeaase... you can be the caesar, like in the dream..." 

            Lance rolled his eyes slightly as he pulled Pietro into his lap. "Your Latin class... inspires very strange things." He gave a slight gasp as one of his fingers slipped effortlessly inside of Pietro. "Damn... you are so hot..." 

            "Ninety-eight-point-six, baby," Pietro informed Lance, teasing his erection with his hand.  "I hate this, I want to suck you, but I want you in me, and on me... damn it, you need an extra dick."  Pietro snaked his tongue into a warm, waiting mouth.  "This song has a good beat, Lance... let's test it out." 

            Lance's eyes widened at the comment about having an extra dick, but found himself relaxing as Pietro stroked him and made reference to the song play. "Sure," he exhaled warm breath onto Pietro's neck and then licked the warm spot. "Whatever you say..." 

            Pietro shivered as the hot saliva cooled on his neck.  He slipped into Lance's lap, shoving him down in the seat to allow himself to do so.  "Lance, fuck me hard, I need it.  I've been such a _naughty boy, thinking of such __naughty things at school..." he winked at Lance as he began to lower his hips onto the perfect Tower o' Lance... _

            "No problem..." Lance gritted his teeth as Pietro sank onto his lap, taking Lance's erection completely inside of him and moaning as loud as he possibly could. Part of Lance worried about the noise attracting the attention of someone nearby... like a cop. But the other part of him said, _Nuh-uh. He'd gotta get louder than this. I expect screaming,__ bitch. He was somewhat torn. _

            Pietro wanted to scream.  But, that was for later, although not too terribly much later... he was so riled up with lust, he could've come the second he impaled himself on his Lance's prick.  "God, Lance... you always feel so good," he said, petting the side of his face.  "You make me wanna scream... will you scream for me?" 

            Lance froze, sure Pietro had been dipping into his mind. "I... yes." He nodded and closed his eyes in pleasure as Pietro raised himself up again, the friction driving him absolutely mad. "If you scream for me...?" 

            "It'll be like a fucking concert, it'll be so loud," Pietro promised, licking the pouty lower lip possessively.  "Mine.  I want you to scream my name, okay, Lance?  Will you?"  Pietro's breath was becoming ragged from the rough ride.  "Oh God, you are _so hot, do it harder, Lance, please," Pietro begged, squeezing the tops of Lance's shoulders and getting into his dirty talk.  "Fuck me harder!" _

            "'Ninety-eight-point-six, baby,'" Lance mimicked happily. "I'll scream your name if you scream mine," he then promised, aware of the rather silly trade they were making. Watching Pietro's face contort slightly with pleasure, listening to his breath grate against his windpipe, Lance began to push his own hips upward to meet Pietro on his downward thrusts. 

            "You sneaky little... sneak," Pietro hissed at Lance's copying his witty remark.  "You're gonna pay for that, one day when... _if I remember... God, if I remember anything after this..."  He rose and descended before Lance's eyes.  "It'd be really hot if a cop stopped us here," Pietro panted, "and joined in.  Don't you think?  But I wouldn't wanna share you with him, so he'd have to go."  Pietro ground his groin into Lance's toned belly.  "You're too quiet to be a screamer, Lance... liven up."  Pietro slapped at Lance's chest lightly.  _

            "Sorry," Lance let go with a low moan and let one hand leave Pietro's hip to stroke the erection which was pushing against his stomach. "I dunno if I'd want a cop to catch us... it'd be the most embarrassing moment of my life." He furrowed his eyebrows. "At the very least." 

            "I dare you to ignore that cop and keep fucking me, if they _do happen to show up," Pietro warned gently, groaning as Lance took hold of his manhood and began pumping it expertly.  "Lance, I don't want it to end, but... damn it, how close are you?" he asked quickly, taking Lance's wrist captive to quell the movements that were slowly but surely driving him over the edge. _

            "I dunno," Lance sighed, tossing his head back and his sweat-soaked hair out of his eyes. The car was suddenly very warm. "Pretty close, considering... why?" 

            "Because I think I'm gonna... if you'd kindly _stop that for a second," Pietro admonished, placing Lance's hand away from his privates.  He slowed his rhythm.  "Breathe," Pietro commanded.  "Breathe in... out... in... out... shhh.  Calm down.  I don't want it to end yet, it's too soon.  I've been dreaming about this all day, and we're __not gonna screw it up!" _

            "Okay," Lance nodded solemnly, and used his hand that had been divested of responsibility to pull Pietro's face closer to his own so that they bumped noses. "But remember... we have all night. We can come back to this. A nice, slow fuck at three in the morning, maybe?" He grinned. "Or a good, hard fuck," he pushed his hips up to emphasize his point, "in the morning? Then we can go get coffee..." 

            "Mmyeah, coffee," Pietro agreed, pulling away from Lance's lips only long enough to reply.  "I don't give a damn what you say now, I know you'll slap me in your sleep if I even try to get you up at 3am."  Pietro pouted.  "I assume you are _well aware of the bruise I had on my arm last month," he sniffed indignantly, upset.  "Just sit, you won't explode, Lance," Pietro assured him, laying lazily on Lance's chest. _

            Lance sighed. "I didn't know it was you trying to get me up... I thought it was Todd. Could you please forgive me and let it go? I've already apologized about a thousand times." He blew upward in frustration, dislodging several stray hairs. "Sheesh...and I could explode. I could spontaneously combust any second now, and then where would you be?" 

            "Not screwed, that's for damned sure," Pietro teased, giggling and kissing the babbling lips to quiet them.  "Yes, you know I forgive you... but you also know I need to tease you, sweetheart-baby-lovey," Pietro cooed sarcastically, earning himself a smack on the backside.  His yelp of surprise caused Lance to laugh at him, which in turn forced Pietro to tweak his nipple.  Fair's fair, right? 

            "Ow!" Lance gritted his teeth at the slight pain before leaning forward to catch Pietro's lips gently in his teeth. "Pietro-darlin'-sweety-muffinbasket," Lance murmured in a sing-song, trying to use the most ingratiatingly cute and silly name he could think of. 

            "....Muffinbasket...?" Pietro repeated, horrified.  "Lance, if you ever say something so stupid ever, ever again, I'm going to have to... to... do _this!"  With that statement, Pietro reached back behind himself, between Lance's legs, and grabbed his boys, rolling them between his fingers almost painfully.  He saw Lance shudder and heard the deep groan, and realized what he'd done... __Dammit! _

            The sharp feeling of pleasure and pain shot through Lance, and he gripped Pietro possessively, grinding his hips upward. "Damn... you promise?" He smiled weakly and inhaled shakily, extremely aroused. "Muf--" He began, but was cut off by Pietro's hand clamping over his mouth. 

            "Next time, I will hurt you," Pietro deadpanned.  And you'll probably like it anyway, you sick little sucker for punishment."  Pietro punctuated his proclamation with a roll of his hips.  "Well?  Are you going to assist the--" Pietro grimaced, "_your muffinbasket in fucking his brains out?" _

            Lance grinned. "Fuck yes!" He purred slightly at the movement of Pietro on his lap, holding him down gently, but firmly. He then lifted his own hips off of the seat, pushing Pietro back against the steering wheel. He pushed further and further, enjoying the slight whimpers he was eliciting until... BEEEEEP! "Shit!" 

            Pietro shrieked in fright as the horn resounded in the quiet.  "Lance!" he hissed angrily, "That was SO fucking obvious!  Jesus Christ... if that cop comes, I'm _so not carrying you to safety," he pouted, running his bottom where the perfect pale globe had made contact with the chilly steering wheel.  "Now it's cold, Lanciepoo-snookums-schmoopy-woo... kiss and make it better?" he grinned evilly, fully aware that Lance wouldn't dislodge at this point for anything. _

            Lance furrowed his eyebrows. "Later," he promised as solemnly as he could. "Later, I'll kiss your ass... not that I don't already do that... every single day..." He mocked with faux despair. "Woe is me, for I am subservient to the great and powerful Maximoff..." 

            "As you well should be."  Pietro narrowed his eyes.  "You are my slaaaaave, Alverssss," Pietro cackled, reaching again to take hold of Lance's sack with one slim-fingered hand.  "But you love it, don't you?  You love me, yes?  Say it," he ordered, massaging Lance's scrotum and with it, disabling his witty comeback abilities... 

            "Ohhhhh..." Lance moaned as Pietro touched him, gently at first and then harder and harder. "I love you, I love you so much." His brown eyes caught Pietro's, suddenly begging. "Can we please... please..." His breath hitched slightly as Pietro hit a spot that was particularly sensitive, "Please..." 

            "Fine, we'll go," Pietro acquiesced, breathing heavily and thrusting himself down on Lance with an animalistic power and grace, tightening his inner muscles around the engorged member, determined to milk Lance of every last drop he was worth... "Now," Pietro ordered, feeling Lance jerk beneath him as he relented, spasming in his arms and tugging Pietro's own shaft toward inevitable climax... 

            "Mmm..." Lance leaned his head back against the seat's headrest, watching with fascination as Pietro pushed himself up and down, his entire body undulating attractively. Hands looped around his neck, lips pressed against his, and Lance felt himself being transported to the happy world of Pietro-Sex.  

            "Come for me, Lance!" Pietro demanded, latching onto his mouth and kissing, feeling starved or either oxygen or him wherever he turned.  It was painful to be forced into separation, even to breathe...  until he felt Lance's explosion deep within his body, and was finally able to follow in quick succession, with a jettison of ropy, pearly-white sperm to coat the hand and abdomen of his lover; his muffinbasket-Lance.  Pietro collapsed onto him, sated and spent.  "Mm... where's my coffee?" he slurred, laying a lazy kiss on Lance's panting lips. 

            Lance gasped as he felt his body let go, his climax pour over him slowly and sweetly. Pietro's face was testimony to the fact that the same was happening to him, and Lance watched, feeling both fascinated and voyeuristic, as Pietro closed his eyes, opening his mouth, and tossed his head back as he orgasmed. It was gorgeous and perfect and surreal. And then Pietro's entire weight fell upon Lance's chest, causing the older boy to let out a slight "Oof!" of surprise. 

            "Where's your coffee?" Lance blinked as Pietro kissed him sweetly. "Uh... it's at home... in my room." Lance grinned. "Where we'll be going next..." 

            "Mmm."  Pietro couldn't move, he was so entirely used, so drained...  "Or first, we could take a lil' nappy-wappy?" he pleaded weakly, trying to lift himself from Lance's chest and failing miserably.  He groaned, slinking down and falling off Lance's shoulder, whipping into a sloppy circle and coming roundabout, teetering and bracing himself with his arms on Lance's bare chest.  He gazed at Lance, looking stoned.  "Or... coffeeeee..." 

            "Waitasec..." Lance wrapped one arm around Pietro and used his other hand to reach awkwardly into the abyss of the backseat, from which he pulled an old, but clean, knitted blanket, kept for the sole purpose of keeping warm if they were ever stranded in a snowstorm or othersuch inclement weather. "Here we go." He wrapped Pietro in it, covering him almost from head to toe. "There. Snuggle in that for the ride home and wait to take your nap in bed... okay?" 

            "'Kay," Pietro agreed easily, half-asleep already.  Where had all his energy gone?  He allowed Lance to deposit him in the passenger's seat, almost disappointed when Lance pulled his own jeans back up from where they'd been heaped around his ankles.  It did soothe Pietro's mind to see how unhappy Lance was about redressing, though... like he'd of preferred staying nude with Pietro.  Ahh, the downsides to fucking around in the car, Pietro sighed, snuggling his blankie.   

            Lance released the parking brake and started the engine, slowly pulling away from the side of the road. "Well, muffinbasket," he cocked his head and grinned crookedly at Pietro, who glared back. "Let's go home... shall we?" 

            "Yes, home away home, James!" he ordered in a weak giggle.  "Ooh -- I think that should be your slaaaave name, Lance.  I'm gonna call you muffinbasket-James.  Or just James... or sex-toy."  His eyes sparkled wickedly.  Pietro looked around, suddenly curious.  "This car smells like sex," he announced simply, and with that, he closed his eyes and dropped to the side, using Lance's thigh as a pillow.  "I love you, muffin." 

            Lance shook his head at Pietro's ramblings, but laughed good-naturedly. "I love you, too," he said simply, shifting into second gear and beginning the long trek toward the Brotherhood home.  

* * * * *

A/N:  Mmm… this pleases me muchly.  :D  ::pets lala::


End file.
